no girls allowedDoing research for a writing project, I am reading a book called Salem Witch Judge by Eva LaPlante about her ancestor, Samuel Sewall. Years after the trials and executions of innocent people he became the one repentant judge.

In this scene, Samuel is trying to entertain his dying daughter by reading from a book called The British Apollo, a supposedly entertaining tome in which learned men and scientists of London’s Royal Society expound upon pithy questions like: “Is there now, or will there be at the resurrection, any females in Heaven?”

The answer Samuel gleans is No—since there is no need of them there.

I drop my Kindle in my lap, stunned. Golly. I knew it was bad for women in early America—that they banished them from the ministry, clubs, voting, government, and any position of power, but not to allow women in Heaven? That’s a little extreme.

How could men believe such craziness and yet love their wives and daughters?

Hmmm. Well, many religious people today love their pets but do not believe they will go to Heaven either. Maybe those men loved women as kind of talking pets who had no soul, but were handy to wash their clothes, cook, have their children, and take care of them when they were ill.

Right. Men wouldn’t need those services in heaven.

Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. The same kind of sense that allowed men to love their families yet massacre  and enslave other people—because, of course, those other people had no souls. The ability to rationalize and justify crazy beliefs and behavior is not one of mankind’s best features.

I shake my head. Pity those poor old guys hanging out in their womanless Heaven wondering why they’re not having any fun. I read on.

Wisely, Samuel does not read this particular passage to his dying daughter. In fact, he’s a bit perturbed by the thought that his womenfolk would not be joining him in Heaven. So much so that he scours the Bible and finds some references to prove that females might indeed go to heaven. Excitedly, he writes and self-publishes his missive with this proof, but nobody buys it—literally or otherwise.

Well, bless him. I’ll thank him when I see him in Heaven at that special place Goddess has reserved for men who champion women—where there are feasts, games, sex, pets, and lots of laughter.

Ah, how far we have come on earth. Women can own property. Vote. Who knows? Now that we can get into heaven, maybe one of us will even get into the White House.

This blog applies to the Principle of Relaxation which is based in thought.


8 thoughts on “WOMEN DON’T GO TO HEAVEN

  1. Wow! I had no idea that there was a time that women didn’t even get to go to heaven. What gets me is the hypocrisy. In most religions bestiality is a sin and yet people, mostly men, had sex with (raped) people they didn’t believe had souls. The men in power excused themselves for murder and slavery because they claimed that those they murdered and enslaved didn’t have souls, If they truly believed that women and/or people of color didn’t have souls then, by the logic of their own beliefs, when they raped the “lesser beings” they were committing bestiality. If those men are in heaven I’d prefer to go to the other place.

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