Donald, I have to tell you something. It’s going to be hard for you to hear, but here it is: YOU ARE THE MOST POWERLESS MAN ON THIS EARTH. You’re clueless about this, of course. You have no idea that you give away all your power to others in your Tweety rages. Yeah, you can do some damage, but that’s not what I call real power.
As an acting coach, I have done my Getting Present Process hundreds or maybe thousands of times with students. As a result, it has become crystal clear to me that when you project your rage onto someone else, they own your power. You have handed it over to them. Not that it does them any good. It doesn’t. But giving away your power doesn’t do you any good either.
Listen to me, please. Rage is power. I tell my students that it’s pure energy. You can either use it to light up a city or blow it up. It can be good, usable energy if you have the experience and skill to harness it.
But, Donald, it does require expertise. It’s very difficult to deal with anger like a grown up. Here are the stages one can go through to mastering rage:
- BEING UNAWARE OF IT. Numbness/suppression/depression/denial. This is clearly not your problem, but believe it or not, some people have a hard time even recognizing that they are angry. Women especially. So often they stuff it away, express it as tears or inappropriate laughter, or simply put up with abuse. (You might want to forward this to Melania.)
- FEELING IT. Pure fiery rage. Now here’s where it takes a lot of skill. I want you to know that it’s OKAY to be angry, Donnie. (I’m trying to reassure your inner child, here.) It’s okay. Really. But Don’t do anything with it immediately. This is extremely important. Just sit with all your anger and hatred for a while. You can hate whatever or whomever you want. Really. But do it alone or with a compassionate witness like a therapist. Give yourself as much time as you need to just hate Obama or Hillary or Mueller or whomever, but don’t do anything about it. DON’T TWEET!!! This is very important. Don’t waste your energy attacking them. Give yourself as much time as you need. About 20 minutes should do it if you really get into it.
- TAKING BACK YOUR POWER. Then it’s important to start pulling your thoughts away from that person or people you want to attack. Keep being present in the uncomfortable sensations in your body and don’t allow your mind to wander back to those angry thoughts. This is difficult. I know. Believe me. I have had to do a lot of this with my feelings about you, for instance. Instead of wasting all that energy tweeting about you, I am doing my best to use it in positive actions. (Oh, sorry. This is not about me.) Please, Donald. Just focus on those sensations of rage in your body. FEEL them, and do not think about anyone else. Courageously sit with your rage. It is yours, not anyone else’s. Have your power. Take it back. Don’t give it away.
- USING IT FOR GOOD. When you get your power back and are calm, you will be able to access a higher part of yourself—a wise part that will know what effective actions to take. When you are really present, you will be so much clearer about how to begin to fulfill all those wonderful promises you made to the disappointed people who voted for you.
Here’s the thing, it’s really hard to sit with the uncomfortable sensations of anger, so that’s why the mind wants to attack, in an attempt NOT TO FEEL. Oh, Donald, I suspect that underneath all that anger, you’re probably really, really terrified. I know you didn’t think you would be president. If I were unexpectedly elected president, it would scare the hell out of me, too. So, trust me, I do understand. Then there’s the Russian thing with your cohorts getting indicted… oh, my. Well. If you would like me to help you get present with all that rage and fear, I would be happy to. I’m sure you can find my telephone number.
Sincerely, E. Katherine Kerr
P.S. I would send you my book, but, as I understand it, you don’t like to read.