My Amazing Idea

I like to write on my laptop lying in bed, so I searched on line for a rolling laptop desk to replace the one I gave away when I moved. I wanted a white one to go with my new bedroom décor. Finally finding one on Amazon, I ordered it. It arrived in a surprisingly small, flat box. A friend who was visiting offered to help me put it together. The instructions labeled “Laptop Desk Installation” were weird (e.g. “Wear the plates on main stand.”) The pictures were incorrect. The included screwdriver didn’t fit the screws.

I should have stopped right there and sent it back. Did I? No.

We cobbled it together in spite of the “Installation.” I noticed that a support for the table top looked suspiciously flimsy. It was two pipes welded together in an L-shape. I tried to ignore the fact that the whole thing was ugly and ultimately totally unusable, because when I lay on my bed and tried to pull it over my lap, the table top was so short it barely crossed the edge of the bed.

But, do I give up? Absolutely not! Never give up is the clarion cry!  I WANT this laptop table, and I WANT it to work! My Gerry-rigging OCD kicks in. I have made impossible things work in the past. I can do it now!. My friend and I discussed the possibilities. I settled on what I believed was the easiest: extend the support pipe so I could bring the table out further over my legs. Brilliant. My friend left.

I went to Lowe’s. Being now out-of-season in Florida, there were few customers and it was short-staffed. After a long time, I eventually found a PVC pipe and someone to cut it to the length I wanted.

I spent more hours than I want to admit utterly failing at making this piece-of-crap table work. I won’t give you all the nutty details. Finally, exhausted, I faced reality, gave up, took it all apart and emailed the third-party company through Amazon that I wanted to return it–writing in 400 characters why I didn’t like it. I could have used 4,000, but I kept it short emphasizing the poor and flimsy design. I got an email stating it would take 48 hours to process.

However, minutes later I received the email below. I have left it unedited:

Hi, Dear E. Katherine Kerr Thanks forv your messag, We have fixed this describing, we are very sorry we make some inconvenience to you, How about we take half refund to you and you keep this item. Have a nice day Best wish

I laugh out loud. Even they don’t want it back. I email:

All right. Half refund will do. I hope your other designs will be more satisfactory to your customers.

I get this response almost immediately:

HI, Dear E. Katherine Kerr THnaks for your message and understanding, We are really appreciate your amazing idea, we are try my best to make our products more satisfactory . We have make money to you, Please check your credit card afew days later Have a nice day

My “amazing idea?” To satisfy their customers? They’re going to “make money” for me?

Well, it didn’t take a few days. Just now I received an email confirming that my half refund has, indeed, “make” to my bank. I can’t stop laughing. Maybe I should send them this email:

I am now feel bad for peoples not expert in business functionings. I wish them good happenings for years in front. Enjoy half money for bad thing.  I keep table. Maybe use in standing comedy.