“….as you understand God.” The powers that be in the 12 Step programs have left “understanding God” up to us poor wretches. That is good. At least they’re not wearing weird clothes and telling us what God is. On the other hand, my problem is: I don’t understand God. I’ve been trying for years, and still am not any closer.
It’s pretty much a given that God is not Michael Angelo’s white-haired guy pointing down just out of reach of Adam (a cruel image).
But what IS God?
The other day while meditating on the “Third Step” to “turn my will and my life over to care of God as I understand God,” it came to me that I don’t have to understand God in order to do that. While it may seem illogical to turn my will over to something I don’t understand, I found it great relief.
In fact, I’m pretty sure God doesn’t want me to understand Her/Him/It/Them. According to Judaism, God prefers to be called by a name that is unpronounceable: YHVH. (Tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor.)
The fact is, I don’t understand electricity, but I can turn on a light switch. My automobile is a mystery, but I can turn on the ignition and it works. There is so much in life that I don’t understand: computers, the Internet, relationships—you name it, but I can still use them. I can feel the warmth from the furnace even if I don’t see it
Life is a big mystery—and God, or Yahway, or the Tao, or whatever you call it—the Big Whatever—is the Biggest Mystery of all.
So, I’m beginning to see that it is not “understanding” but “willingness” that operates the only remote control we need. Touch the willingness “on” button and see what happens. If you don’t think Mystery is a functioning energy, you may be in for a big surprise.
I’m constantly surprised.